upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
