I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
