I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
