did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
