Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
