i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
