Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
