So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize