Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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