So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
