This house was built for laser tag.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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