So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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