I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize