loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
