Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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