she smelled like a LAN party
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
