the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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