so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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