nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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