I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize