I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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