Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
