she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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