dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
