What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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