You just made me feel so damn special
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
