it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
