I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
