what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
