Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
