True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize