I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
