Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
