She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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