that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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