So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize