Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
