this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
