Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't turn off my feet"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
