Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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