awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
