Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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