i don't like sucking hair
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
