my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
