is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
