I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
