I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my shit smells like andre
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we're so committed to being not committed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
