she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
