A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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