Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
