Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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