i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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