You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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