I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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