She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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