I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
