I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
