let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
