So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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