Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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