I hope mine doesn't look like that
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
