there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize