are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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