his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
