similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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