Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
