She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
