no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My vagina is officially offended.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
