Swine flu. Run for my life!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
